Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Ugly and Honest Truth

So it has been a while since I've updated the ol' blog. Excuse #1 is that we've been swamped with Standard Goods. We had two big events in the same week and so every spare moment of the last month has been filled with cutting, oiling, sewing, and prepping leather pieces.

"Tastemakers" at the Rawhide Stadium

Makers Market at Embellish and Restore in Downtown Visalia, Oct. 14th

Excuse #2 is that I haven't really wanted to write anything...the ugly truth. As of today we've been waiting 59 days for a match. Back in August when we were getting ready to send our dossier to China, we had heard that the wait time for a match was 2-3 weeks from the date the paperwork was logged. In my head and my heart I was really sure we would have a match by the end of September and maybe even be able to travel sometime in December. Three weeks stretched to four and then five and then six and now we are starting our ninth week of waiting. I kinda hate it.

When I was 38 weeks pregnant with Sawyer I remember my doc telling me that my baby was "going to come any day now." I waited until almost a full 41 weeks to meet our firstborn. Those three weeks of waiting were torturous. The excitement paired with fear that came with each twinge or cramp or braxton hicks drove both Tim and I crazy. I feel like I'm right back at those three anxiety wrought weeks. Every time my phone rings my heart stops just a bit wondering if it's our social worker calling to tell us about our son or daughter. It is a crazy and weird emotional roller coaster that I know will eventually end on a high note but, until then, leaves me spinning.

I've even been "nesting." We completely rearranged the kids' rooms to accommodate for the soon-to-arrive brother or sister. I'm telling you, we are so ready to have a name and face and a gender and an age to miss and dream of and long for rather then just the title of "our China baby."

All this to say that every time I've thought to myself, "Hmmm, I should really update the blog today" the thought was closely followed by, "I don't want to write an update titled "No News Whatsoever." This train of thought resulted in almost five weeks of blog nothingness. So there it is. The ugly and honest truth about Tuesday in the Kanallakan's adoption journey. Prayers appreciated as we meander through this phase of waiting and hoping and dreading another day of no phone calls.

Our leather stuff is pretty cool though, eh? :)